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Today's prompt was: Pathfinder: What do I need to stop running away from?



TarotRussian2

Deck used: Russian Tarot of St. Petersburg

I drew the reversed 5 of Cups for this one. Not a fun card, generally; it's understandable why anyone would want to run away from it. As usual, this deck likes to throw reversals at me. So when a heavy card like 5 of Cups is reversed, does it get better or worse?

On a basic level, I would paint this as: I need to stop running away from pain. Disappointment, lost friendships, hurt feelings—this are part of life. But how am I habitually running away from pain? I sit on my feelings until they're either not a problem anymore or until I blow up. Or until I collapse.

Have you seen Inside Out yet? Probably. But if not, you're certainly familiar with the premise: young Riley is controlled by 5 moods, and after a move to a new city, Joy and Sadness go missing, so that just leaves Anger, Fear, and Disgust running the show. The whole thing is an elegant metaphor for depression (unsurprising, since the Pixar team consulted actual psychologists and experts on the story), and without spoiling anything, I can say that the moral of the story is to investigate why we get sad (or more specifically, what purpose sadness serves), and the big takeaway is: even if it hurts, exhibiting sadness lets others know that we need attention, comfort, and help.

I hate it when my partner doesn't tell me what's wrong. I'm not completely insensate; it's obvious to when something is wrong with him and if he doesn't tell me, it doesn't spare me any grief. I just get frustrated. But then I do the same thing to him:  just snip that "I'm fine" because I don't have the spoons to talk about what's bothering me or because I don't want to stress him out when he's already stressed. It doesn't occur to me that he can read me as well as I can read him, and that my reticence bothers him as much as his bothers me.

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