Shadow Work November, Day 2 (3 & 4)
Nov. 7th, 2015 12:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tarot_scholarDays 3 and 4 of Shadow Work October make a nice pair, so I did them together
Deck used: Thoth
The source of my greatest fear: The Star
How can I release my greatest fear? Ace of Disks
You know what deck always makes me feel stupid? The Thoth. But Frieda Harris's art is just so stunning. One day I should devote myself to a proper read-through of Crowley's Tarot works.
Anyway!
If you were to ask me what my greatest fear at the moment was, I would say it would be Impostor Syndrome: a lack of faith in my professional abilities (as a teacher and as a wordsmith) and a lack of faith in my all-around ability to be successful and provide for myself.
How can that possibly relate to The Star? People love The Star; the first book on Tarot I ever read said that it was one of a handful of cards that retains a positive meaning even reversed. But Crowley's interpretation differs from this, noting that when ill-aspected it can represent "error of judgment, disappointment, dreaminess" in his LWB.
In this context, it seems The Star is pointing at my failure to set realistic expectations for where I would be at this point in my life. I'm only two years into a life in a new country. Readjustment takes time.
I am also perhaps becoming overly thirsty for outside guidance and signs; something else to make a decision for me and tell me where I should go next. Radical freedom (à la Sartres) is scary; the need for a guide or direction is overwhelming.
Thus to release that fear, the sort of logical step is physical action (as manifested in the most physical of cards, the Ace of Disks). There are concrete steps to take that I haven't taken yet, and for no good reason at that.
Of course, a giant pile of money landing in my bank account would also do a lot to release that fear. ;)
Deck used: Thoth
The source of my greatest fear: The Star
How can I release my greatest fear? Ace of Disks
You know what deck always makes me feel stupid? The Thoth. But Frieda Harris's art is just so stunning. One day I should devote myself to a proper read-through of Crowley's Tarot works.
Anyway!
If you were to ask me what my greatest fear at the moment was, I would say it would be Impostor Syndrome: a lack of faith in my professional abilities (as a teacher and as a wordsmith) and a lack of faith in my all-around ability to be successful and provide for myself.
How can that possibly relate to The Star? People love The Star; the first book on Tarot I ever read said that it was one of a handful of cards that retains a positive meaning even reversed. But Crowley's interpretation differs from this, noting that when ill-aspected it can represent "error of judgment, disappointment, dreaminess" in his LWB.
In this context, it seems The Star is pointing at my failure to set realistic expectations for where I would be at this point in my life. I'm only two years into a life in a new country. Readjustment takes time.
I am also perhaps becoming overly thirsty for outside guidance and signs; something else to make a decision for me and tell me where I should go next. Radical freedom (à la Sartres) is scary; the need for a guide or direction is overwhelming.
Thus to release that fear, the sort of logical step is physical action (as manifested in the most physical of cards, the Ace of Disks). There are concrete steps to take that I haven't taken yet, and for no good reason at that.
Of course, a giant pile of money landing in my bank account would also do a lot to release that fear. ;)
